End of a chapter

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I've had this saved on draft for quite a while, because I wanted to consolidate all my thoughts before I was sure I wanted this to be published.

At the time of posting, I would have already packed up and left yesterday, the company which I have dedicated nearly 3 years of my life to.

Throwing the letter is always never an easy decision, but this thought has been with me since late last year, when I had my first breakdown. I had thought that if things got better at the start of the year, I would reconsider my decision, but alas, I did not get what I wanted, despite me being worked literally to the bone throughout the past year. That, to me, was the final straw. However, at that point of time, I still decided to push all thoughts of resignation to the back of my head, because I knew that it wasn't the right time yet - I had just finished writing my 2 dreaded papers, and I honestly wasn't sure if I could pass. If I could, then it'd be great; if I couldn't, then at least I still had June to write them, but that would only mean that I would know my results in July. What happened if I couldn't pass them? The last thing I would want is to fail my papers and start all over again in an unfamiliar environment. That, to me, would be a double whammy.

So, I waited till April, when the results for the papers which I have sat for back in March would be released. All thanks to God that I did manage to pass the papers which I had written back in March. With that, I was certain that this was a sure sign that I had to leave this company, because, truly, I deserve so much better.

I decided to plan for a long trip after my resignation, because, well, I had worked really hard for it. With that, my plans to go on a summer trip to Japan slowly materialised. I managed to firm up the dates in which I want to go to Japan, and from there, I worked on my resignation letter, with me getting my last working day to coincide with the trip to Japan, which would be the next day. With that, I bought my ticket to Japan, and began drafting out my letter. After drafting out my letter and deciding when to submit it, I decided to spam send my resumes to whoever, in hope that I would secure an interview before I sent out my resignation. Alas, that didn't happen.

I submitted my letter to le SH anyway, since I had already made up my mind to leave. Le SH was very shocked by my decision. She said that I was doing well, and there was no reason for me to just suddenly submit my resignation like that. I really wanted to ask if she had been expecting my resignation instead, because for one thing, back in March, she did ask my lunch kaki if she knew I was going to submit the letter. Back then, even when lunch kaki knew about my plans, she told le SH otherwise. I decided not to be snarky in the end, because honestly, at the point of submitting my letter to her, I was feeling really nervous, and just wished for everything to end as quickly as possible.

Thus began my 1 hour at her table, which honestly felt like the longest 1 hour ever in my life. Tbh, I did feel really bad for submitting the letter to her, especially when during the past 3 months, she herself had been receiving at least 3 other resignation letters (2 were from my team lol). She tried to talk me out of it, especially when she knew that I hadn't secured a job. I was promised a lot of things which did sound very tempting at that point of time. At the end of which, I told her that I would ponder very carefully over what she had said, and would give her a reply soon, to which she agreed.

My last discussion with her was 2 days after I submitted my letter to her. I did really agonise over whether my decision to quit was a hasty one or not, given the fact that I hadn't secured a job yet. I was emotionally taxed, especially when I did feel sad over having to leave the colleagues whom I've built good rapport with over the years. There were just too much uncertainties for me to be even certain if my decision to quit was ever right or not. I decided to confide in another colleague to ask for a second opinion, and what she said was what made me determined to leave in the end.

"Think of what triggered you to give the letter."

Oh there are so many, which I won't list down all here. But these many things have culminated in me not being able to enjoy coming to work anymore. In fact, from November last year all the way to March this year, I felt like an absolute wreck. I seemed alive outside, but actually, I was really dying inside. I hated every working day, and wished that I could fall so sick that I didn't have to go to work anymore. It wasn't because I was feeling lazy. It was because I saw no point in me waking up to continue whatever I was doing anymore. Over the past year, my health took a hit. I was visiting the doctor at least once every two months. You may think that the MCs given meant that I could have a good rest, but no. Once I returned to work, I had to catch up on whatever I didn't do during the days I didn't report to work, and the whole cycle repeated itself again. OT, OT and more OT. Grumpy and I got into arguments because of this; I was falling sick too often that he chided me for not taking good care of myself. Thinking back about this made me so emotional, because I really felt like shit during the past year.

With this, I told le SH to submit my resignation letter to HR. And yes, I've never felt more at peace with my decision. Even when I hadn't secured a job, I just felt a wave of relief for myself, and from then on, I didn't look back on my decision.

Fast forward to a month now, I can now say that the decision to go is one that I will never regret. I've managed to secure a much better-paying job (I got almost a 25% raise), with hopefully a much-better work-life balance, which is currently non-existent in the ex-company. I mean, things can't possibly get worse than what I have experienced. Granted, being in a FI guarantees a higher salary. I'm glad to have started out in a FI, which meant that my starting salary is a lot higher as compared to most people who do not have FI background, but for now, enough is enough for me. This kind of life doesn't suit me at the moment, especially when I'm going to have my own family the next time. I value my time with my family more than my time spent at work, that is why I need to get out.

So thankful to Grumpy who was more than supportive of my choice to leave even without a job. I know I can count on you, always.

Saturdates

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I ended up staying at home today, because I was out for nearly the whole of yesterday.

The day started off with me meeting Grumpy Cat for lunch. We knew that Tendon Kohaku was offering its special tendon bowls at only $10++ because they were celebrating their 2nd anniversary in Singapore. However, as per the T&Cs, these bowls were only limited to 200 bowls per day, from 6th to 8th July 2018. Grumps and I knew how cray the queues could get for this particular store (we've seen it first-hand), so we decided to meet earlier at 11 am to get in line.

Thankfully, we had the foresight to do so, because while there weren't as many people when we first started queuing, the queue got progressively longer as it got close to the restaurant's opening time of 11.30 am. By the time we left the restaurant after our very sumptuous meal at 12.15 pm, the queue was damn crazy (there were at least 60+ people in line), and my lunch kaki who arrived later after that had to wait for 2 hours before she could be shown to her seat. O.O'''

Though we were among the first few to step into the restaurant, we had to wait for about 20 minutes for our food, as our tempura pieces were fried individually.

Both Grumps and I love eating at Kohaku, and every time we've been there, we always enjoyed ourselves as this place does serve quality tendon bowls at really affordable prices. The tempura here ain't oily at all, batter thickness was just right, and best of all, only premium and fresh ingredients were used.

For the special anniversary bowls that we ordered, it came with fish, anago, king crabstick, corn, long beans, enoki and 2 pieces of prawns. As with their normal tendon bowls, this portion was damn huge, and more than enough for 1 person. We were both thoroughly stuffed after our meal, but oh gosh, it was just damn satisfying!!

Presenting to you, Kohaku's special anniversary tendon, dubbed the "Golden Fuji" bowl lol. At just only $10++ a bowl, this was an effing steal. Even if this was sold at their normal price of $15.90++, I'd still gladly pay for it, for its superb food quality.

As our movie Ant-Man and the Wasp would only start at 1.40 pm, we dropped by UOB so that Grumps could open up a new account there. Setting up of his account did take some time, but he managed to settle everything 10 minutes before the movie started. Ant-Man overall was a really action-packed movie, as expected from a Marvel movie. I did enjoy this movie very much, especially with its special effects. I think I'm spoiled by the Gold Class seats though, 'cos I felt rather "constrained" in the normal seat. ;( I had wanted to stretch and lounge about, but I couldn't do so in the normal theatre.

I had gotten free tickets to Lee Seung-gi's Singapore fanmeet from one of the CMO HODs, because said HOD and her husband dined in a Korean restaurant and managed to snag a pair of VIP tickets worth nearly $500 during the restaurant's lucky draw. Before this fanmeet, I had no idea that there was an auditorium at Big Box. ._.

Our tickets worth nearly $500. #cray ._.

Before this, despite being the big Korean fan I am, I actually have not spent on any kind of concert or fanmeet tickets before.

Finally here!

When we finally got in after bag check, me and D entered the auditorium, only to feel quite disappointed lol. Despite having VIP seats, we were still quite far away from the stage. Anyway, it did seem that there were a lot more VIP seats than there were normal seats. The seats that we got weren't in the centre as well, so it didn't make us feel as if we did really get the VIP tickets. Moreover, water, photo and video-taking weren't allowed as well, which really got onto my nerves. Even when I was innocently texting, the minders would be walking around to try and peek at our phones. Damn irritating can?

There was only a fan?? Lol? Like that only ah? I was expecting something much more tbh, given how expensive the VIP ticket was.

Before the fanmeet started...

Seung-gi's singing was really good though, and I could tell that he did put his heart into it. After the fanmeet ended, the VIP ticket-holders stayed back and lined up for their chance to "touch" Seung-gi's hand and admire him lol. I must say that he was really very good-looking; his face was really small and smooth. It was so surreal to see him up close, especially when I've spent my years watching him through my TV/tablet.

The only picture I got with him, before the annoying minders came around. This picture was super zoomed in though, sigh... ;(

This fan-meet was really just a fan-meet, with Seung-gi having some interactions with a few lucky fans and singing 3 songs. I did feel bored, probably because as much as I do find Lee Seung-gi adorable and likeable, I guess I've already past my fangirling age, and the host kept talking about The Korean Odyssey (his latest Korean drama), which I honestly wasn't much of a fan. Had I been given this ticket 10 years back, I'd probably be screaming my lungs out about finally being able to meet a Korean celeb in person. However, right now, I'd honestly not spend nearly $250 just on a ticket, which only gave me a chance to hi-5 Seung-gi and get 2 L-shaped folders. I felt that it wasn't worth it at all. Tbh, I'd rather spend money to watch a full concert by a singer/celeb whom I really adore.

Of course, this ticket was given to me free by a very nice HOD, who chose to give it to us instead of selling it to other people, so despite me and D not really enjoying this fanmeet as much as we thought we would have liked, nonetheless, I felt really lucky to have gotten the chance to see him up close, even if it was just for those few seconds. Nevertheless, it reaffirmed my decision to spend my money more wisely on things that I think are more worth my money and time on.

Nice meeting you, oppa, but I will probably not attend another fanmeet again LOL.

Anyway, July has started off being really good to me. I'll be leaving my company this month, going for my long-awaited holiday (to fulfill some items on my bucket list) this month, and yes, I've managed to secure a much better-paying job with hopefully a better work-life balance (that was what the hiring manager assured me lah!) this month as well! How very lucky I am. In fact, when I threw my letter without securing another job, I did feel very scared and uncertain about my future. Despite having sent nearly 100 resumes over the past month, only 3 companies got back to me to go for their interviews. I was resigned to the fact that I have to continue with my job-search after I come back from my holidays, but thank God! The last company which I interviewed for seemed really intent on hiring me, and they even offered me more than my expected salary. How very rare for a company to do this, since most companies would try to negotiate for a lower compensation. Even the recruitment agencies who had contacted me told me to lower my salary expectation, since most companies would only give at most a 15% raise on top of what I am currently drawing right now. Well, you can just suck on that peeps, for I managed to secure a job that has even exceeded my salary expectations.

I'll talk more about this the other time, but so far, July has been really looking good. May the rest of the year be as good to me.