My dreams

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I had a dream yesterday afternoon when I was taking a nap after my MA paper. I dreamt that I was in South Korea with my family for Christmas. We were feeling really very cold so we went into a convenience store to get some warm food and drinks. There was a Santa Claus mascot who beckoned to us to take a photo with him so we obliged. Haven't felt that happy in such a long while. After we went out, we felt cold again, but the thought of breathing out smoke while talking really thrilled me haha. Then I suddenly felt very hot and was wondering what was happening to the weather. I awoke and found myself back in Singapore. So much for such a good dream. -.-'''

Fast forward 3 hours later, I went to bed pretty early yesterday, at about 10.30 pm. I was feeling really very tired even though I had a nap earlier on in the afternoon. I didn't really study much for my FM paper which was going to be tomorrow (today, in fact) but I was too sleepy to continue studying. I had another dream again.

This time, I dreamt of the Running Man (RM) members in Singapore HAHA. It was just a normal day for me, taking the MRT to I-dunno-where. I suddenly saw Jackie Chan in the train together with some of the filming crew from RM (must be 'cos Jackie Chan was one of the guests in the upcoming RM episode). I was shocked beyond words and so were the people entering the train with me. If Jackie Chan was on the train, so should the rest of the members. I immediately ran down the carriages and true enough, I spotted Lee Kwang-soo and Yoo Jae-seok, but they were preparing to alight at the next stop with their VJs. xD I immediately got out of the train with them and they were picking random people to join in their "missions". Oh my tian, I was so ecstatic that words failed me. It was a pity that they didn't pick me to be one of the participants but my Secondary 4 friend got picked! I was so happy for her haha! ;D I was about to get out of the station to stalk them and I bumped into Kim Jong-kook LOL! He was having trouble with his EZ-link card so I helped him with it. He was really super nice and kept thanking me for helping him. He asked me if I wanted to be a participant in their mission and I agreed immediately! ^^

AND, my dream had to end HERE. What a good dream it was. How I wished that it was really true. I think it must have been because I watched too much RM that the places they have been and the things that did "appeared" in my dream. Aish. T_T

Anti-social?

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Am I becoming more anti-social as time goes by? I feel that I don't make friends as easily as I used to back in my secondary school days. I could just strike up a conversation with strangers (given the fact that we'll be CCA mates/classmates for dunno-how-many years, it's better to be friends right?) and we'd become friends soon after.

A few new people have joined my class. As much as I want to make friends with them, I can't bring myself to talk to them without feeling a sense of hostility towards them. WHY?! My class survived well with 9 people. Because there were only 9 people, it was really very easy for us to bond and talk due to our one common love for a country. We went out for lunches, dinners and complained about everything under the sun. I don't feel comfortable when somebody tries to cosy up to us and tries to be a part of us. When random strangers (not those perverted people) smile at me I just stare at them as if they're crazy or wonder if they know me and I've forgotten them. When I try to smile back, I think I do scare off many people when my smile ends up looking like a scowl or a smirk. I have no surprise as to why my smile turns up like that 'cos I don't feel the need to smile LOL.

People have said that I'm a nice person to be out with as I'm funny and cute. But I don't think I'm friendly. Maybe I was, but not now. I'm especially myself when I can talk to a person for as long as we both want to without feeling that the conversation is dying or going nowhere. Now when I go to school, unless somebody talks to me, I won't even bother talking to the person sitting next to me during lectures. I wasn't like that in the past. I used to take the initiative to let people warm up to me.

I think as time goes, I don't really feel the need to have as many friends. My closest friends were made in secondary school, which is why I don't see the need to keep in touch with my primary school friends, except maybe via Facebook. To be honest, I don't even message or wish them a "Happy Birthday!" at all. I just stalk and see what they're up to. Same goes for majority of my friends on Facebook. I only bother to meet up with people who really deserve my time.

As for some friends whom I felt really close to the last time, I don't really feel the need to talk to them anymore. I'm not sure, but I guess we all now have different priorities in life, so I guess that's why we don't talk as much (that's if we do even talk). I even feel a sense of hostility towards them. I have the urge to unfollow them on Twitter or unfriend them on Facebook since I don't feel the familiar connection between us anymore that made us friends in the first place. I have really thought of doing that, but then again, I'm afraid of offending them, especially if they don't feel the way I do. It'll make me feel bad for thinking this way.

Since I've left school in 2010, I've met many of my ex-schoolmates/classmates etc. Singapore isn't a very big place to begin with, so the odds of bumping into someone you know is actually extremely high. Unless that person is someone whom I'm really close to (i.e. I know what to say when I see him/her, I really want to catch up with them etc.), I'd just stare at the person as if they're just people getting to their destinations if they happen to lock eyes with me. If I see someone I know from afar, I'd probably just let the person go first and then continue on my way instead of engaging in awkward conversations that neither of us wish to participate in. Or maybe hurry my way through and look extremely flustered so that the person won't bother me.

Have I become more anti-social? I think I have. I don't think anything triggered this change in me, but it is just a sudden realisation that I can make do with just a few people. I do reminisce the great times I had with my friends, but it's over now. I think this is just part of growing up.

생각

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Ms Im wore spectacles today. I all along thought that the woman in our classroom was a relief teacher and was still telling my friends that we had a relief teacher today until she stood in front of the classroom and smiled at me. OK, I still didn't recognise her until she started opening her mouth to talk. I think she heard me saying that she was a relief teacher. KILL ME NOW. T_T

저는 싱가포르에서 왔습니다. 우리 나라의 복쪽에는 말레이시아가 있고 남쪽에는 인도네시아가 있습니다. 날씨는 항상 덥고 습기가 많습니다. 우기 기간 동안 비가 많이 왓습니다. 우리 나라에는 모든 과일 중에서 두리안이 제일 유명합니다. 우리 나라의 관광 명소는 센토사예요. 바다가 가까우니까 바닷가에서 사람들을 자주 수영합니다. 싱가포르 사람의 성격이 친절하지만 아주 서둘러 있습니다.

이번 여름 방학에 한국에 갈 수 있어요! 난 기분이 좋아서 울 수 있겠군요. ^^