I'm so dead, because I don't even know what's the purpose of opening my eyes and seeing the world revolve around me. School life is getting really very meaningless for me. I just simply don't know what to do anymore. I think I should seek sanctuary at the airport. Maybe I'll find some time to go down and admire the pace of life there.

I've lost the drive. I've lost my motivation. I've lost myself.

I give up.

May my eyes never open again.

Where's my motivation?


Haiz... I don't think today is a very good start to the new term, besides the fact that Ms Lee WM was really super cute during Econs tutorial. xD She started creating this dance move that she thinks is very cool, simply by waving and shaking her hand in all sorts of direction. Next, she didn't really know how to use the visualiser. When she did something that she didn't mean to do, she suddenly whacked her own head and said, "Stupid brain!" xDD That's all for her cuteness. ^^

Salted Egg gave us a surprise test on atomic structure and I totally didn't study for it. As you've guessed it, I've screwed it up. T_T Oh well... It didn't help that Lum Lum pronounced my name in such a way that some people heard it as "Ben Lee" or "manly". Thanks ah... And I suspect Lum Lum lost my Maths assignment, because I tried finding it at home and when I couldn't find it, I was really sure that I handed it up to him. Damn you man... I spent close to 2 hours doing it can... =(

I don't want to lose my passion for my Science subjects, not now... But I'm not doing well for them right now, which makes me wonder if I'm really cut out to do them or not... I cannot afford to disappoint my QADs, especially the 1st generation, but damn it, where is my motivation?!

I can be a highly motivated student if I want to, but when things don't go my way, that's where everything starts to go downhill.

Please, motivation, I beg you. Please come back to me!!!

Give up?


Sian... Today is the last day of my term break and to be really frank, I didn't really keep my promise of spending this term break to revise the subjects which I'm lagging behind. I deserve to be shot. T_T

Anyway, I woke up at 4 am today to spend my dad off to China. Haiz... One week later, my mum will be leaving, but I won't be able to send her off because I've got school. =((( Haha, seriously, the airport really looks nice when the sky is dark. ^^ And hor, I was waiting for the lift in terminal 3 when 3 SIA pilots came out of the lift and they smiled at me. Oh my... O.O''' I felt kind of stunned, but still, I smiled back. xD

The iconic control tower in the wee hours of the morning. I like the airport most when the sky is dark. ^^

My beloved SIA. SIA, 내 사랑! <333

OK, I should be doing my Econs case study and my GP comprehension now. I've officially given up on Maths. >.<

Slumdog Millionaire


zZz... I'm late for band today all because bus 97 took so long to come and because of the rain. And I have to do punishment next practice. =( Today's band practice went rather alright, although I felt quite exposed when Shi Xian (Chua) didn't come. >.< Gosh, she'll be away for the rest of the week leh. I'm the only 1st clarinetist left. o.O''' I screwed my Overture No. 2 in front of Ms Chan lmao... -.-''' OK, but now at least I know I have to work on my high notes... My tone for the high notes really sucks. I think I would be better off playing 3rds instead, since I think I can play my low notes better than my high notes. Bleah. =( Anyway, I met 1.2 today!! =DD Haha, 1.2 umchio-ed at me us. Tsk. Zhi Yi got so hyper lah... TSK TSK TSK. >=) But haha, at least my trip to school wasn't wasted! ^^

After band today, I went to watch Slumdog Millionaire with my auntie at Vivo City. LOL! My sister had to be turned away because the movie is NC-16. They seem really strict about the rules this time round. Even the guy whom I was booking the tickets from even asked for my IC before he allowed me to buy the tickets lor... o.O''' OK, back to the movie. Slumdog Millionaire really deserves its 8 Oscars Awards! Really, this movie really rocks, though I find the ending slightly abrupt... The ending where Jamal and Latika were dancing was actually nothing much lah, but I really liked the music they danced to. Oh yes, the part where everybody was dancing together was really neat and slick!! ^^

Me, being an anti-social, decided not to eat lunch with my auntie and sister because I still can't get over the shock over the amount of homework I have to do, so I rushed back to finish up whatever I could do before watching Likeable Or Not. Anyway, I just realised that I had to submit my Maths assignment to ePortfolio tomorrow. Luckily Jerrine and Hui En reminded me, so I managed to complete it. Phew...

Sian, I think I should continue with my Science article tomorrow. May my creative juices (As if I've got any) flow freely tomorrow. I need them to do my GP essay too! =(((

Before I end of this post, I would like to comment that the sky outside my house looks really nice today! <33 The sky was really AZURE BLUE, with the clouds looking as if somebody has taken a giant spoon and stirred the clouds in the sky. =D

Pictures of the sky as seen from my balcony. ^^

Alright, that's all for today. Goodbye!

Drowning in homework...


Am I really destined to become a kindergarten principal? Yes, according to eCareers.sg. -.-''' Gosh, I thought it might be a mistake since I did not really put in my heart and effort into completing the quiz that was 23 pages long, but I really took it seriously the second time round because I was unhappy with the result I got and poof! I'm still stuck with being a kindergarten principal. -.-''' I hereby declare that this whole assessment is screwed. >=(

Anyway, yesterday's MOE-NTU Economics seminar was interesting on the whole, but I fell asleep during the first few lectures because I totally didn't understand what the professors were talking about. Ms Lee said that all these are taught in university, so well, can you imagine the jargon I had to hear, especially when I've studied Econs for less than 4 months? The last few lectures were more interesting as I could relate to them, but still, Bei Shan, Shi Xian (Liang) and I ended up playing Bingo. -.-'''

Oh yes, I got my new laptop a few days back. Haha, my laptop is really very pretty! It's Fujitsu L1010, and it totally beats the laopok desktop computer I've been using for dunno-how-many years. That lousy computer really lags a lot, especially when I'm watching videos or playing games, but my laptop is ultra fast!! ^^ Sadly, I don't think I can download any games onto the laptop because my mum forbids me to. =( But sian, I'm still not used to using Windows Vista and using the new Microsoft Office 2007. I really feel like a retard when I'm using them, although I really appreciate the chicness and classiness that Windows Vista and Microsoft Office 2007 have to offer. o.O''' Actually, I contemplated getting a Sony Vaio laptop since I set my sights on it long long time ago, but still, I'm happy with this laptop I am using to type out this blog post. =)

My laptop! Isn't just pretty? ^^

Oh yes, did I mention about the amount of homework I'm going to drown in? Yes, the March holidays are here, but they are not holidays. Instead, most of us in RV are calling it a study break. Yes, a break from going to school, but definitely not a break from school work, or as Mrs Wong calls it, school joy. -.-''' The amount of work we have to do is tantamount to the amount of work we do in 2 weeks, and yet they expect us to finish it all within 1 week. I think the teachers are afraid that we have nothing to do during the holidays, so they just decided to throw our homework to us all in one go.

1. 3 newspaper articles analysis
2. GP essay
3. Comprehension

1. The Gaseous State (Independent Learning Topic)
2. Chemistry tutorial Worksheet 5
3. Analysis on nanotechnology on ePortfolio

1. Lipids assignment
2. Proteins assignment
3. Activity 2 on ePortfolio

1. Assignment on ePortfolio

1. Case study

I guess that's all the homework I have, tentatively. I have a feeling that I've missed out some. But still, this is really enough to kill me!! T_T How am I going to complete all these homework, when I only have effectively, 4 days to complete it?! Gosh... School life is insanely crazy! @_@ I kinda finished both my Biology assignments today though... I used the word "kinda" because I don't know how to do a number of questions and I totally didn't touch the essays at all. Good luck to me. T_T I tried reading up on The Gaseous State but sian, the back part of the notes is really killing me. x_X That's great man. I love RV teachers deep deep. *coughs violently*

The other side


O=M=G!!! I can't believe that today is really my day. It seems like Friday the 13th is always a lucky day for me. I think this is just pure coincidence bah, but for more information, you can always refer to the post which was also created on Friday the 13th last month. xD And yes, what a GREAT WAY to end the last day of Term 1. =DDDD Thank goodness for the unexpected turn of events!! ^^ Because of that, both me and Zhi Yi managed to see 3 QADs all in one go!! =)

The day started ordinarily enough, with PE being one of the more memorable lessons, because we went out of school to run. It was tiring, but Mr Tan said that we showed very good class spirit!! =D Yay!! 5B, keep it up!! ^^

GP came and went. Gosh, I don't wish to see the pile of homework we have for GP. Why must GP always involve essays huh?? =( It just takes the fun out of the subject. >.< I want to love GP, but like what I told Mrs Lee (HAHAHA, YES! YOU DIDN'T READ THE NAME WRONGLY! I REALLY TALKED TO HER LOR!!! ^^), it's the nature of the subject that really puts me off. After dismissal today, I went to the staff-room with Bei Shan to confirm with Ms Lee WM about something regarding the MOE-NTU Economics Seminar which we 2 will be going tomorrow! Ms Lee was really very cute, but I can't reveal the contents of our conversation here, lest I get her into trouble! Aiyo, seriously, she's really cute! ^^ I met her during recess today and she totally said "HELLO!" to me leh!! xD She was buying bread from the stall 5 and the auntie asked if she wanted chilli, and Ms Lee told her she didn't want chilli. I told Ms Lee that eating bread with chilli is nice and she totally shook her head and gave me the terrified look, saying that she can't take hot stuff!! xD Ultimate cuteness! *^^* OK, back to after school. I saw Mrs Lim and she totally smiled at me!! =DD But aiyo, she started asking me if I only started wearing my contact lenses this year, which made me feel so stunned, because after sitting in front of her for almost 1/2 year last year, she totally didn't realise that I was wearing contacts. -.-''' Never mind. She's still super cute!! =D I really love her deep deep!! <333333333 Ms Chan didn't come today, so we had sectionals instead. Haha, Zhi Yi and I went out to the car porch to practice since the canteen was really super noisy with the UG people shouting commands here and there and with other instruments playing (This is one of the many reasons why we went there) and we noted a few interesting things. Anyway, the climax of this post came at around 7 pm, when both of us were resting after non-stop squeaking and blasting from us (mostly me lah -.-'''). I was polishing my instrument while Zhi Yi was looking through some scores when she totally saw Mrs Lee walking towards us. We were planning what to do, whether we should run away or ignore her and continue what we were doing. We decided to continue what we were doing, but to be honest, part of me wanted to run away! LOL! xD Anyway, I thought Mrs Lee was going to scold us because it was actually rather dark already. In the end, she just asked us what we were doing here lor. xD Then haha, there goes the 15 minutes talk! I shall not reveal anything here, but seriously, I thought she only wanted to talk to Zhi Yi since I have no relations with her *CLEARS THROAT IN MRS WONG'S STYLE*, so I decided to ignore the 2 of them, but after that Mrs Lee started talking to me too leh!! O.O''' Waa, I totally couldn't believe it lor! She probably still remembers me as the girl who laughed at her when she caught me talking during assembly last year. And yes, Mrs Lee was really super friendly (OMG YES YES YES! YOUR EYES AREN'T PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU!! MY EARS DIDN'T FAIL ME!) lah!! It's really unlike her during school hours, where you see her terrify every student she could see. O=M=G (Haha, this is double bonded because I don't know why. It's made up of a sigma bond and a pi bond)! When talking to her, I totally felt no fear at all. In fact, we could talk to her as if we were just friends. I told her that I detest Physics because I have no "moo sense" (Thunder Flower's way of saying "common sense"). xD Surprisingly, she didn't scold me or anything. Instead, she looked amused and asked was it because I didn't like to do calculations, which I sheepishly admitted to. -.-'''

Oh yes, one more thing before I forget, Mr Chua (VP) came after Mrs Lee was talking to us. He saw my 1st clarinet scores and managed to hum out the CORRECT TUNE of Overture No. 2 leh! Oh man, he's really pro lor! 不亏是我们学校的副校长! He said that he was formerly from band (?!) and was happily exclaiming to us and Mrs Lee that he didn't forget his notes even though he graduated decades ago. Mrs Lee then suggested him to wear the RV uniform and Mr Chua was like, "Aiyah! Old already! Cannot lah!" xDD I have such amusing teachers in school. ^^

Well, since this incident happened at the end of CCA, it should be considered a big blast for the end of Term 1. Hopefully, Term 2 will await me with loads and loads of surprises! =D Toodles, and happy holidays! ^^

Where will Term 2 lead me to?

An ending only signifies a new beginning


There was no Chemistry practical today even though I saw Salted Egg in school, so we ended up having a 3-hour break, which I used pretty fruitfully. LOL! xD

Anyway, as part of our very stupid routine, we made this a habit to turn our head to the left when we are nearing the General Office. zZz... Guess who we saw? Zhi Yi saw Transexual while I saw my GP teacher. -.-''' I nearly die-ded. @_@ *Mrs Lim's style*

I finally said "HIHI!" to Pooh Bear after so long! ^^ Haha, he's still as cute as ever!! *zi-highing in progress* Hopefully, I'll get to see all my QADs during the last 2 days of Term 1, and if I'm really feeling very bored, maybe I'll consider getting caught by some people and laughing at them again. xD

Yes, I've found it. Good luck to the remaining of my Term 1 school term! ^^

An ending only signifies a new beginning.

A new beginning.


I spent almost the whole day rushing through all my homework and going through things that I'm not sure of. From tomorrow onwards, I'll embrace whatever comes to me, whatever I have to take on with a more open-minded heart and mind.

It's a change I hope to believe in. Hopefully, I can one day say, "Yes! I did it!" and make my parents and QADs proud of me.

A new week. A new day. A new beginning.

Work hard, girl!


Gosh, I'm like... 17 now?? o.O''' I feel old. =( But anyway, thanks to everybody who wished me happy birthday and those who gave me presents!! ^^ Lol, I just realised that in every letter that my friends write to me, the word "QADs" will definitely come up, *clears throat super loudly* which then goes to show how QAD is synonymous with me. xD Thank you to 5Buaypai'09 for singing me the birthday song while running our 8 outermost lanes TOGETHER as a class!! I feel really touched!! =D

Anyway, I've decided not to brood anymore about my test results since I've told everything to my mother so that she can be mentally prepared for my Term 1 progress report. -.-''' The only thing that I'm really not satisfied with is my Chemistry result. Wrong things totally happen at the wrong time. I think so far, I have only told Maggie Mee and Shi Xian (Liang) what really happened. Brooding over these really made me feel that school isn't as fun anymore, so I've decided not to think about them anymore. I will mug, and not let my QADs down ever again, I hope.

Ever since I've decided to heck about my test results, I think school has become more fun for me, more so today!! ^^ I totally bumped into The Fierce One near the General Office and decided to make a U-turn back to the canteen. o.O''' She was the first QAD I saw in the morning when I was expecting to see somebody else. Ahem. Oh yes, my encounter with The Fierce One didn't stop there lor. After being dismissed from Biology practical, we were having sectionals. I went up to the staff-room to put something then I totally saw her and turned back instantaneously. Tsk, I totally adore running away from her. ^^ Too bad I didn't get to scream at her, although I nearly screamed in shock when she suddenly appeared in front of me on Wednesday. xD 1.2 totally made my day today! ^^ She totally umchio-ed and talked to me for awhile while we were walking to the Biology labs. Gosh, that made me feel even more guilty that I didn't perform up to expectations for Biology. =( I'm so sorry, 1.2! =O

Today was really great! It might have been the greatest day in this whole week, where I felt mostly very dull and not high at all. ='( Today, I really let loose and went totally crazy. Yes yes, Jennie knows how mad I was to drag her and our clarinets out of school. Haha, Ms Tan Wan Ting totally saw us and asked why we were playing to the roads. -.-''' But haha, Ms Tan WT really rocks! I spent a bit of time talking to her while we were hunting for QADs. I really missed the times we had in Shanghai. Haiz... =(

I swear that Klarinutz is really one crazy section. Oh yes, it's now more inclined towards the perverted side, seriously. o.O''' All thanks to the members in the section ah... TSK. xD Band practice was great in my opinion, although Ms Chan kept complaining that me and Shi Xian (Chua) kept rushing through our quaver notes. -.-''' But at least she said that we improved!! Yay!! =D Go go Klarinutz!! ^^ We shall go crazy every Friday and high to our hearts' content!! =)

I will move on, work harder and not disappoint myself as well as QADs. I will make QADs' words come true. I will make them proud of me, proud that I was once their student. Thank you QADs for giving me the inspiration and motivation. =) I hope I won't let you all down, ever again. Go girl! You can do it!! =D

Don't look back.


School hasn't been that great for me now, because I don't feel very high in school nowadays. Haha, Hui Li is actually right. My source of happiness comes from seeing QADs, so if I'm high and crazy, it shows that QADs are somewhere and I have seen them. xD

Oh yes, Gar Yim and I went to school together in the morning. Haha, we didn't see Mr Chen like yesterday, so I was thinking if we would see 2.2 instead. I was really so scared that my prediction would come true, so I didn't dare to turn my head to see who was walking towards us. I instructed Gar Yim to turn her head to the left and VOILA! 2.2 WAS REALLY WALKING TOWARDS US! >.< *faints* Our encounter with Pooh Bear yesterday was really very funny when we met him while stepping into the school. xD Gar Yim and I were walking then Pooh Bear happened to see us. Me, being very high as usual, started HIHI-ing him. o.O''' Then he was like smiling and said that he see me almost everyday until he doesn't want to see me anymore! xD Haha, cute cute!! =D I love 2.2 too!! ^^ Haiz... I've been seeing 1.2 everywhere in school, but I just don't get the chance to say hello to her, and probably rant about how horrible the Biology test paper was. x( Did I mention that I'm failing almost every subject that I'm taking? o.O''' Gosh... I seriously can't believe I'm becoming such a failure. =( I have failed Econs, though I may harbour some hope of getting 2 more marks. And I'm pretty sure that I'll fail Biology, Maths and probably even Chemistry?! T_T Yeah, so there goes my 4 H2 subjects. ='( Anyway, to cheer up this blog post a little, I've finally taken off my braces!! *cheers like crazy* I think I was supposed to put it on for another month or so, but apparently, my dentist said that my teeth managed to move back by itself, so I could take it out, once and for all!! =DD Haha, she even said that it was really such a miracle because she had tried for many months to correct that part, but to no avail. And poof, my teeth suddenly moved back on its own. Good teeth! *pats my teeth* -.-''' But hor, the process of the dentist taking out my braces was quite painful in my opinion. >.< It totally felt as if she was going to yank out all my teeth without the use of anaesthetic. Now I feel weird not having braces, because I'm so used to running my tongue over my teeth and feeling the bumpiness. >.< And of course, I'll really miss my dentist. She was really nice to me when I first came under her and poof, there goes my 2 years and 3 months under her. Times flies, really... My brain is whirling back to the past. Gosh, to hell with you, brain. =(